Harry, Ron, and the Fanfiction Author
by DeathByMushrooms
Summary: A smarmy fanfiction author shows up at Ron's doorstep, and explains the 'wonderful' world of fanfiction to them...much to their dislike.


A/N: Haha...I got this idea while pondering on my latest parody. Peez impart your knowledge...yeah...erm...read/review...  
  
*~LTDan~*  
  
"Hey! Hey, Ron!" Harry called from the door.  
  
"Yes?" Ron called from the kitchen.  
  
"Someone here to see you!" Harry called, staring at the person in the door awkwardly.  
  
"Who?" Ron asked, as he entered the room.  
  
The person at the door entered when Harry stood back to reveal the Weasley homstead.  
  
"Alexa Rickett, Mr. Weasley. Pleased to meet you," said the girl briskly, sticking out her hand.  
  
"Er..." Ron said tentatively, shaking her hand, "Ron Weasley..."  
  
"I know perfectly well who you are, hun. I was just wanting to get to know you better..." Alexa flashed him a smile.  
  
Ron and Harry exchanged glances. "Er...not to be rude," Ron said, "but why?"  
  
"I'm a fanfiction author. I want to know what SHIP you support," she said, taking out a laptop.  
  
"What's a SHIP?" Ron asked, staring at the laptop curiously.  
  
"Oh, I mean, who do you want to be with? Hermione and Fleur are popular - "  
  
"Fleur! Are you mad?" Ron yelled incredulously.  
  
Alexa grinned. "You like her, don't you?"  
  
"Bloody hell! Where do you people get these ideas? Everyone was affected by that bitch..." Ron muttered.  
  
"Well, would you rather Pansy?" Alexa said, smiling sweetly at Ron.  
  
Ron yelped, but Alexa kept beaming, and Harry stood, listening intently. "WHAT THE HELL? Are you mental? Pansy Parkinson!"  
  
"Sorry...now...say I don't want to write a story with you in it. What do you think of Remus/Hermione?"  
  
Ron groaned. "Are you serious?"  
  
Harry laughed. "Remus and Hermione? Not very likely, is it? Remus not only prefers to be alone, but I don't think Hermione is is his type, anyway."  
  
Alexa shook her head. "I know, dear, I hate Remus/Hermione. Remus is my favorite character - "  
  
"Your favorite iwhat/i?" Harry said, clearly perplexed.  
  
"Oh, Harry, didn't you know? They wrote a series about you and Voldemort."  
  
Ron flinched, but Harry looked at her, bemused.  
  
"Really? How interesting..." he said in an amused tone.  
  
"Yes. And Remus is my favorite, see. I don't think they give him justice, poor fellow. Hermione, Sirius, and Snape..."  
  
Harry looked like he had just ran into a brick wall. "What? They pair Sirius and Remus together? And Snape? What the..."  
  
Alexa nodded pitifully. "Yeah, it's terrible, the things they do to him."  
  
Ron was still looking revolted. "What, exactly, are fanfictions?"  
  
Alexa smiled a somewhat large smile. "They're stories written by fans of the Harry Potter series who can't wait for the sixth book to come out, so they write stories about how they want your lives to be."  
  
"Our lives?" Ron said interestedly.  
  
Alexa nodded again. "Yeah. Your lives. It's got you, Harry, Remus, Sirius, Ginny - everyone that was there throughout Harry's school years."  
  
"Oh," Ron said, looking rather pleased. "Tell me more. What's in a fanfiction?"  
  
"That's the best part. They often involve sex scandals and slash, which many people do adore. The most common SHIPS are Harry/Ginny, Harry/Draco, Harry/Hermione, Remus/Sirius, Ron/Hermione, Ron/Pansy, Lily/James, and Ginny/Tom. It's a mess of things, really. Completely unrealistic."  
  
"Harry/Draco?" Harry asked in a quiet, unbelieving tone.  
  
Ron, however, looked outraged. "Ginny/Tom? Bloody hell! If I iever/i find out she did something with that git - "  
  
Harry looked strangely at him, and he shut up. "That sounds...well, sad really."  
  
"Yes, well, do you have anything to say or would you like to send word to the other fanfiction writers?" Alexa asked, making toward the door.  
  
"Yeah," Ron said grimly. "The only SHIP I approve of is Harry/Ginny."  
  
Harry raised an eyebrow at him, but grinned. "Yeah. Me too. And Ron/Hermione. Tell 'em I think that Remus and Sirius have about as much of a chance as my dad and Peter Pettigrew do. For virtually the same reason, too."  
  
Alexa smiled. "Thank you, it's been a pleasure," she said, and with that, she left.  
  
A/N: Haha...that was so much fun to write! PLEASE REVIEW! It makes me feel all warm and tingly inside to see a review! :D  
  
*~LTDan~* 


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